4 years down.

I usually have so many thoughts around my dad’s anniversary but for the first time since he past, I had less words and more love.

I have moments before I fall asleep like hell, this is reality. But then I always remember what my brother told me before we celebrated my 30th birthday (backstory: we were planning my first birthday after my dad past, but I had a total meltdown on the F train going home from work and called my siblings, pretty much yelling about why the hell are we having a birthday when dad isn’t here to help me celebrate). And then my brother said, “you had dad for 29 years, there are kids out there that didn’t even have dad for 29 days.” If that isn’t the biggest reality check, I don’t know what is. I had him for 29 solid years, and he definitely knew when he was alive, he was the 1st man I ever fell in love with.

Whenever I have a moment of relapse or a breakdown coming, I always remember that. And 4 years later, I’m fortunate enough to have my mom living with me, being closer to my sister, bil, and still able to see my brother every quarter even if he is on the opposite side of the country.

Growing up my dad made it a point to make sure no matter what happens in our life, us 3 siblings always stuck together. I think we were pretty close before his passing, but now I think we are a lot closer than ever. So look at that dad, 4 years later (even if you aren’t around), you still know how to get all your kids together even if we are all over the country.

Miss you, homie.